ISABELLE'S MEMOIRS

      Hey there. I’m Isabelle and if you’re reading this, then you’re invading my privacy. I think there’s a law against that?....Er…trespassing or something. Can’t remember. I’ve always had a faulty memory, sometimes I think I might be coming down with Alzheimer. (Just kidding.)

    Well, as you’ve guessed...I wasn’t christened with the name Isabelle. My original name is something so long and unpronounceable, I decided to spice it up.

Now, down to business. So, I’m not married yet, but I intend to be…at some point at least. I’m good looking, I think. I mean, everybody likes to believe that there’s something good to look at in/on/about…whatever(take your pick) them.

        So pal, you might not have those celebrity-like looks, but hey…don’t put yourself down. There’s gotta be something good looking about you.

Enough about beauty and good looks. Did I mention I’m way past thirty?  If you’re Nigerian, you’d know that I’m overdue for marriage.

   Well, that’s what they think and I absolutely disagree with them.  I mean, what’s the big deal? Is a woman defined by her marital status?

     Do I have to be married to have a place in society? Do I have to be married before I’m looked at and respected?

                It’s quite annoying I must say when people look at me and expect me to be married and when I tell them I’m not…they look at me like a weirdo. I mean, seriously?

        Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not against marriage and I do know that someday I will settle down with someone worth it, not out of desperation but because I’m ready, because I’ve acquired enough knowledge about marriage to actually keep a man.

      If everyone thought like me, the divorce rate in the world would be lesser.

   I wish everyone agrees with my view, though. I’ve had squabbles with my parents and relatives about my…er…condition (I’m not sick, hello!)

        Only last week a relative whom I had no idea existed called me. Right out of nowhere. He identified himself as my paternal uncles’ cousin. Like seriously, is this guy for real?

     The conversation that ensued after introductions went something like this:

HIM: Chi, so how your side?

ME: Fine Uncle. How’s the family?

HIM:  Very fine. You know, Nonye my daughter got married last week? We didn’t see you at the wedding.

 That’s because I had no idea Nonye existed, I wanted to say.

ME: Em…yes sir. I wasn’t available.

HIM: Which reminds me, Chi…when is your own coming up? When will that young man bring wine to us on your behalf?

ME: (Laughs) Soon sir.

HIM: Are you sure? Or you want us to consult our local seer for you?

ME: Uncle, that’s not necessary. Everything is under control.

HIM: Hmmmmm…You know age is not on your side. We want grandchildren.

ME: Yes sir. I will take that under advisement.

HIM: What?...advise what?...It is not an advise ooh…

I kinda blocked out the rest of his tirade. By the end of the call, I was royally pissed.

      I knew that was the handwork of my mother. I know this  because she’s spent the last five years pleading, nagging, imploring and even threatening me to find a man for myself.

       How do I tell her that many men have come my way but I have not found them worthy of me? Is that pride?

     I don’t think so. I just know who I am and I won’t sell myself short. I don’t need some man with big words, flattery and money. I deserve better than that.

      My Pastor always says that the first step in any relationship or marriage is giving up your “I”.

 Well, that is anothertori for another day.

       But basically, he’s saying…if you’re not ready to submit your ‘rights’ completely to your partner then you aren’t ready for marriage.

        Well, I haven’t met the man I’d be willing to give myself to completely.

     Selflessness is the key to a stable, steady, long lasting and happy marriage.

         Me, I’m too selfish to care for another that much, so I guess it’s bye-bye men until I meet that man.

                             That’s all for today folks. We’ll catch up later.

                 I remain Isabelle; single, and happy. Ciao!